When Life Disagrees!

(Preview: Rhea, is a 31 yrs old independent, working as a VP in a renowned IT co. She’s been brought up by a single mother, very smart looking for a 57 yrs old, who is a gazetted officer in the French embassy. Rhea’s life is quite complicated and rough as per times, but she is a real fighter.)

Act 2: Scene 1, Mother Daughter conversation

Its Rhea’s room with basic furniture, but clean n stylish furnishings. While Rhea was working on her Mac sitting on the couch sipping her evening black coffee, her mother was on the side of the bed re-doing Rhea’s wardrobe.

Rhea:    (looking worriedly) What Maa, U wanna say something?

Maa:     Naa ..Nothing!

Rhea:    Then why r u staring at me like that? It’s weird!!

Maa:     (sternly) Right! Everything I can see from here, to me seems weird too. (Sighs)

(Rhea taking a deep breath, looked up with a doubt in face at her mom)

Rhea:    What? No tell me what? Oh …..Ok! …I know this……. It’s about my reaction, right?

Maa:     Yes.

Rhea:    Mom, what should I do? Yell at everyone and cry-cry-cry till I die? If that’s not enough then should I break all these things in this room, will that give u a satisfied reaction? Will that work? Tell me, I’ll do it.

(Rhea takes a pause and looks at her mom, continues…)

Listen. Come here. Sit. (holding her mom’s hand)

I know u care about me. But the truth is Maa, I really don’t feel like crying. Can’t really cry. It’s not coming, what should I do? Fake it? For the sake of people to get it real?

U know na Maa, ‘Faking’ is the only thing I can NEVER do, it doesn’t come to me at all. If I could…., I wouldn’t have ended up like this today, at this phase of my life.

But I don’t understand this, at all!! Why do I need to justify always? Why isn’t ‘He’ answerable? Why aren’t everyone pointing at him? Why can’t people understand that, if ur husband cheats on u at the 5th year of ur marriage and God knows since when, and that man still has no signs of guilt or embarrassment when caught ‘Red’ by everyone in the family, still then at the divorce court, he is found proudly negotiating with the lawyers and pushing the case against his wife, do you think that’s worth enough for me crying? Why is it that the wife who has to repent on it? Why this indifferent-world suddenly needs the wife to look sorry, sad and depressed? What was my fault? ………That I couldn’t restrained this broken marriage? Or is it…. why didn’t I charge him, sue him dead, or steal a damn deal of alimony he would pay up till his death? Is that all what is expected of me? What is pinching u Mom? Or, it is about ur family here? I’m really surprised why ur so called family suddenly so interested in our lives now??

Maa:     They are ur family too Rhea. They are ur maternal end, don’t forget that. U should not talk about them this way, they are also deeply hurt and concerned for u. They have always been there thick-n-thin with me and u. Today if we both are surviving good that’s just because of them. They are the only ones I can call ‘my family’ despite few of them not being so pleasant with us.

Rhea:    Oh really!! When did this happen? Sorry, whatever it might be with u, I don’t wanna get into that debate again, my stand for these ‘so called guest artists’ in my life will never change. They were nothing to me then, today and never! And bullshit they are concerned! U know what! Suddenly they may have realized that this divorce will pull down their invisible high edged status they have in this fake prone society they love to live in. No surprise! if they are still bitching about me in my back too! Now they have a great topic too! They always do.

Maa:     No beta, it’s not like that. Ur Dida is really upset. She wasn’t prepared for this disaster na!

Rhea:    Listen Maa, I’ll talk to Dida and manage her, u don’t worry. She will understand my state of mind much better than u do.  But wait……….. what disaster?? U really think this was a blunder that I’ve done to my life?

What, U really wanted me to continue in that dead home with that 5 years old death-buried relationship? Uff, that’s disgusting!! Why do I have to make u realize what all I went through, all over again n again, soo many times now, to build ur trust in me? Maa, u need to start believing in me, have faith in me that what has happened, is good for all. Its high time now!

(Rhea feels helpless and tired, but still continues……)

No wait! Does it seem like I wasn’t interested to hold on to it? Really? Was that in my hand? U think so? What should I have done Maa? No tell me!! Accept him the way he is now? Or u want me to break his new love affair and force him to live in with me, sleep with me? Will that work good for any of us? No na! Then why, what’s wrong with you? Why aren’t u happy for me?

(Mother putting her hand over Rhea’s head)

Maa:     I’m happy for you, beta. Just that I’m a bit afraid now thinking of ur future. U are becoming so unpredictable now a days. What will u do now with ur life, everyone is asking that?

(Rhea stands up from the couch keeping the Mac aside)

Rhea:    Whatever! Anyways, I can’t explain any further. It has always been Me who took care of myself then and will do in future too! He was always just a husband for namesake. Did he ever been that partner to this life which we promised each other? Not for a single time in last 4 years!! I’ve never felt this for long time that he is back with that happy-smart-caring-love of my life guy I met or dated 5 yrs ago. Day on day, he was just getting more indifferent and out of sight most of the time.

U know Maa, this is that one feeling no one can FAKE between a husband n a wife, that feeling of LOVE n the Touch. Somewhere deep in ur heart, ur conscience keeps reminding u, that u are drying out of that love-potion from within. It may be that u have lost it or ur partner has lost u. But still, we humans keep dragging it thinking one day everything will change, but knowing it very well that ‘love once gone is actually gone, never turns back’. But silly us, we never accept. We start cheating ourselves with such consolations. And we end up no-where!

I did realize this long back! And u know me very well, Maa. I am always clear on what I wanted. I don’t like dragging along. Yes, I tried a lot to bring him back, did all what I could, even if it didn’t turn out as expected. In fact, it turned the other way round, as he threw his justifications covered under his anger every time on me! But I knew well, he didn’t love me anymore. So, there was no point pushing me on him. U know what Maa, I realize this the same time, that love has died within me too, in these last 4 years! When you are the only one left and held responsible for holding this relationship up high on one shoulder and the other guy doesn’t even care for u, can’t even see the pain in ur eyes any more, but blame u for everything that has gone wrong, u know It’s Over! So, when it came in the limelight and got confirmed that he was in a relationship elsewhere and he is desperately wanting to move out, what u can do then? But just pick ur heart out, squeeze it till it stops beating and kill it in ur own hands. That’s the feeling, isn’t it? It aches like that when someone u love madly crushes ur heart and leaves u half dead. That’s what I felt then. And now I’ve overcome that pain.

(Her mom started crying, Rhea hugs her and continues…)

Maa listen, I know u r worried but sorry, I can’t keep doing this every time. Sorry.

Actually, this is what breaks me down more, Maa. It really hurts when I realise that my only support, my mother fails to understand my decision and is always in dilemma standing up for me when I need her!

(Rhea also has pain in her eyes, sad and sobbed, continues…)

I’ve already lost my First love of my life. Yes, I’m badly heartbroken! You know na what it feels when u feel cheated and thrown away like a used tissue paper, by the man whom u gave all the power to destroy you, trusting he won’t but actually he did? Just like that. No justifications given, no one answerable. What is left now?.... is ur living body with a dead soul.

Gradually u learn to deal with it. U learn how to stop crying, coz eventually ur tears will dry out with time. Nothing bothers u anymore, u are just a living dead! Maa, that phase of my life has passed away. I can’t afford looking back anymore. Yes, I agree that last 5 years have gone a total waste of my life! I still don’t know what was it that I was chasing soo madly? What did I achieve? Nothing. Whatever I did has turned out to be a big failure, whether at work or in love. But now nothing worse can happen than this, right?

(Rhea Sighs sarcastically and continues…)

I’m a total failure, I know. But one thing I also know is that I have to live, and still be alive. Unfortunately, death will not come to me easily. Maa, it seems like ur Gods are not satisfied yet! They need more drama, more broken pieces of me and my strength. I know they will not leave me at peace so easily. U never know…. what bigger plans they have for me ahead! 

(Rhea smiles)

So, it’s true that I can’t end this bloody life myself, suicide is not my thing, and it was never. It needs a lot of courage. I don’t have that, rather I have a little bit of stamina left, to think to start this life again, that comes easy to me. But see I’m not sulking. I’m trying to be happy! But alas! That too is pinching everyone now. No one likes me be normal. It seems no one wants me to survive even!

(Rhea walks up to the large window, looking outside at the night and her mom gets a phone call and leaves the room. Though this view from Rhea’s room is always awesome as it was on the 22nd floor in a posh building with Mumbai’s top city life view, and the weather being always pleasant as it was cool n windy, even though her life wasn’t!)

END OF SCENE 1, ACT 2.

Delete empathy, speak truth. You are not my grandma!

Honestly, I want to understand this. What will be your true feelings when you are told that u got rejected because you are ‘over experienced’ for the position you are been interviewed over the last 3 months and in multiple rounds for long hours and almost by top half of the organization? 

They said, they believed in someone with less experience will be a better choice as they can give him/her a growth up the line compare to that I’m already at the peak of the ladder! They also said, they fear I might get bored in few months. They need someone with less aspirations! 

Yes, this is true as you read and to my ears from a renowned global E-commerce Recruitment Head, trying to convince me & sympathize with the rejection. I mean -really? It’s hard to believe that they were left with no more excuses than this! Rather, I would have expected a smart way to just tell me that “I wasn’t good enough”. It’s no big deal. 

I think today job seekers are more practical and logical and more open to straightforwardness & being specific because they know the hardship they go through to get the right choices and most important, their TIME which is just flying away. 

Dear recruiters, stop fooling with your fake empathy and rather learn how to do better screening. That would have saved your and my golden time and effort as well.

This is hilarious but sad too.

#badrecruiting #recruitmenterrors

I’ve been striving hard…. will keep on doing…

This is about “Being Jobless”. Why are you currently jobless? -this good question in an interview has many answers different for all. Today, it’s because of a very common solution and very popular one in India “mass layoffs”, where the organisation takes a very easy way out reviving the losses caused due to management incompetence. I'm a protagonist. Well, needs no explanation why-when-how, anymore. Isn’t it?

Situation: You got the best performer award 6 months back, you scored 4/5 rating in your current appraisal, your team was always looked up as the ‘dream team’, and then one day the news knocked as perfectly as it could and sarcastically just in time when you’re expecting your new revised salary with increments in a week or so. You are politely told “You are a great asset, I personally believe you have great potential, it’s a pure loss to this company, with a sad masked face blah blah blah… but we no more need you dear… go find a job. Good luck!” I bet nothing could have been better than this. Shit happens. That day I laughed a lot.

The feeling of being jobless is very devastating, only one who goes through it gets it correct. Day- by day it grows more n’ more. We tend to see the world around us much better, brighter and clearer than ever. Every morning when you open your LinkedIn page you find- 10% of your connections sharing daily “motivation”-don’t know if that really helps, 30% shows how well they are doing their jobs- you get surprised sometimes, 25% of them either has a new job role or a new organisation to their kitty- you wonder why they and not you! 5% just likes and forwards, Last 30% are the updates from those ‘Angels’ who have many new job openings with them, but….. unfortunately, not even one was meant for you 😉 Even when you read the daily newspaper, whether it’s a Politicians, minister or Film actors- despite having back to back flops/ disasters at their work, they still get paid and even get a new project in hand the next day. Reality check!

So, while the show goes on around you well enough, and when you repeat this routine every day, you start getting that strange sinking feeling within you. You’d thought the awesome world where u were an important part once upon a time, doesn’t need people like you anymore. Gradually you lose out your charm, talent, intelligence and your positive mind slowly to this Karma. You start talking stupid too! Several questions come to your mind. What went wrong? Why was that for me? Am I even worth of anything? Was I just being favored? Do I really know my job? And thus, the inevitable negativity cloud arrives….

Tell me, what’s the true reality? Some people may blame it on fate….. some on consequences ….and some weak souls blame it on themselves. For me it seems to be the TIME. May be its not my time now, or maybe I’m expected to find the truth within myself. I don’t know!

But I never give up and quit, it’s not my way! Karma has tried me several times in past, but it doesn’t come to me easily. I am a fighter but without a luck 😊 But I can’t stop thinking worst either!  Today, I’m desperate in search of the truth, in search of myself too. I believe there will be a Day soon when I too will have an announcement. Something about the ‘True me’…. something I will look forward too… it will be the true meaning to my Life. #thoughtoftheday #trustmyhardwork #iwillwin

When Love is lost….

The front door gets unlocked and he steps in. He is a middle aged smart guy in a half crisped shirt, his formal suit in hand and with a laptop case. That’s your man back at home. His face shouts it loud that he didn’t had a normal day at work, his mind pre occupied with multiple thoughts, like the quarter targets are at stake, market is pretty down with business getting tougher, the 5^th service of his Skoda worth some 30k is due, some other bills and his daughter’s school fees has to be paid off immediately, the incentives are on hold for low CAGR results., etc. He has a dull, tired face and is exhausted. We all understand that this man has too much to manage on his plate and he is totally stressed out. So what should he expect the moment he enters home. A clean, shining fresh living room, kids who are done with their homework and waiting for dad to return with an exciting smile, a pretty wife in chiffon saree all tucked up …. Hot dinner on the table and smelling good, etc., on… and on! That’s a worth expectation, isn’t it? But in despair and vain…reality was that his pretty wife was at her worst attire with dark tired eyes, the house had everything at its wrong place, kids were at their extremes ….and dinner was not ready. It is a Mess a total mess!   That’s what the Man sees and in his disgust feels “what the hell is this every day!” And he goes into his room. That was not the life he always had wanted, that’s not what it should be either.

But wait, before we blame it on his wife let’s hear out her side of the story too. She is a pretty smart girl who has been very ambitious all through her life, got recognised always at work, and is in the same position in her career as her husband. Now she is at her mid-30s, managing both home and her work without complain. Today, she took a day off from work and this is how she starts her holiday. At 5.30am she was in the kitchen, preparing tea, breakfast, packing lunch, getting kids ready, rushing them to the bus stand at 7.30, maid comes late at work, electrician leaves the geyser half done, laundry pickups, paying off maintenance bill, picking groceries, got a bank draft made in a never ending queue at the bank, picked up kids in the afternoon etc., and etc….. and this can go on more with an never ending list……Now what  if I add to it that she was also getting calls every hour  from her team and her boss, who were on fire today because of her unplanned day-off ....Tragic, Isn't it! And finally she gets to end her day at 12 am midnight and she simply dozes off on the bed without asking her husband “Honey, how was your day?”

It’s bad and I’m not exaggerating here. Guess with what thought they would have ended the day while starring at the blank ceiling before they went to sleep today? Ideally ‘He’ would have expected to get some surprise at the dinner or in the bed, and ‘She’ would have cursed him of not taking a leave from work to share those odd jobs and spend some quality time with her or at least little appreciation in words if not in kind. Isn't that obvious and natural?

This can be an ideal situation for anyone of us. I bet most of our life is this. But here my point is not on ‘How’ or ‘What’ life we are leading. It’s on with ‘Whom’ are we living. This present Life state will never change. We are ambitious and we all will be running always. But this is about the ‘MAN’ and the ‘WOMAN’ in the story, who once promised each other that they will be the ideal life partners and will share every moment  thick or thin with a smile, always. But where’s the spark and the promise gone? They hardly speak to each other now. Where is the LOVE?

But I blame none. I only know that a Man and a Woman decides to stay under the same roof only when they are or seemed to be in real LOVE and when they want to share every moment of their life with each other. But seriously, do we all know the real meaning of LOVE?  This word has no meaning or definition. Some says it’s about feelings…..but feelings can be faked too. Some say it’s all about caring and showing that through actions. Is it only Sex?  Here, everyone has their own version of the word LOVE, be old or young. And some even say “It’s complicated!”

But I think Love is simple. It’s us who make it complicated and blame it on Love.  Why do we always complain that love vanishes with responsibilities, time, age and family? Rather these are all the important factors that boils down to complete LOVE. Love is a subject which folds a new chapter in everyday life. One has to read it and understand from both the MAN’s & the WOMAN’s way. It’s all about showing love to each other. It’s about knowing each other without a bias. It’s about openness and clarity which kills the doubt and negativity. It’s about the touch; it’s about the unsaid security that we get when we feel each other. It’s about talking it out when we mess up. It’s the best stress buster when your partner texts you or calls you to say ‘I love you’ and ‘I missed you’, every day. And it’s all about communication. It’s all about saying it loud every day. Despite we know that we love each other, we should keep say it loud. Love grows with this and never falls short when needed. Love is misunderstood when it is silent. One should definitely try this out, it always works!

Therefore, as Man and Woman when we both decide not only to debate but to talk love, and express our mind out every day, we prove real love for each other. It’s the only mantra for a truly strong successful relationship and that end up seeing happy faces always. Keep the love alive! #WhenLoveIsLost

LIFE: The Fun Game of Choices.

Do you agree that it’s One Life to Live? You must be saying……Duh! What’s new in that thought? Yes, it’s all new when you realize what it actually meant for?  Life is a stupid satire of making choices.

We often think that we know this fact very well and we are always heading to the right direction. “Enjoy the fullest”, “live every moment”, “party the youth“, “be young at heart”, etc, are often the favorite quotes on our social pages. We proudly mock it like a clairvoyant. But life is not about that, and most insane is… we are actually not even nearest to the reality! If it would have been so, why we grieve about it then? Everything -every moment should have been perfect. Isn't it? Is there anyone in this world who doesn't grieve? Impossible! Why? Because Human mind has abundant expectations and they dream unlimited. Some stronger among them stoop to achieve it, others stay in a plight. Finally we all end up unhappy demurred. But we should not.

There is no full proved solution I have here. But reading this may help you with a better direction and make you realize it soon with some real returns in your bucket.

First of all, we need to accept that Life is Game of choices. It’s an open-menu, full of choices to make. You can choose whatever you want as per your whims and fancies.  It’s like while driving you reach an intersection where you need to pick your way to the right destination. The wrong one might take you to the longer or an absolutely different place. Life is also same, every moment gives you two or more standard/ customized options and you choose to head ahead. Your life follows the direction you choose and it becomes the same what comes on that way. Strangely though, in fact, in every minute of our life we are choosing options! It’s just a simple tick-the-choice-game! I give examples, today I choose to wake up at 6 am or wake up at 10 am, both are my choices and each has their respective consequences for the day.  I get up late, I miss 4 hours and I may end up late for everything I do today. In broader view, life becomes exactly same as what choices we make and heads to the direction as defined on that path. But it is not just one time to choose, we get blessed with it at every junction to the next leap. We move a bit, realize the right or wrong, appraise it or learn from it and make the next level choices. And as there are no U-Turns to a mistake instead we get every next turn as a new choice to the new adventure. Therefore, no one actually loses here in this Game. You are always the next level up. Isn't this exciting!  

So there’s no point to grieve?  Every option gives you and new direction to life. You have nothing to lose here. Yeah, option A may be the better one than the option B, but that’s the only trick in the Tale here! God is very funny and he loves playing games with us.  We all get a blessed life by birth and  are left alone to handle it all by your choices to make it more blessed or more rotten. When achieve something good we celebrate the moment but when we end failing we start grieving and tend to give up and that weakens our judgement for the next choices and we again end up picking the not so better one.  This is the fact.

So what important to learn here is how to strengthen the inner power of our wisdom to be able to make the right choices in life on every leap we take. It’s you who has to take the ownership to your choices.  Living an uninfluenced, authentic life is not for those, who get meshed up in the outer directives- let inner directives be your guide and you will taste the bliss forever. We are not here to prove something to the world; we are here to realize our utmost potential. For that to happen, make the right choices always. Choices should be yours. Don’t become a ‘Family Puppet’ that your parents are deciding for you or you trying to live ‘someone else’s life’. Definitely you’ll gonna end up in bad depression. Your life is your life and you should be courageous enough to direct it and also act throughout, as per your soul’s voice. Take the opportunities that go with your nature and you will pocket something bigger than money or a picture-perfect life.

And when you are ready to steer your life: hanker for progress, not for perfection. A progressive attitude is a must for the ever-evolving mankind. And the big paradox is that progression makes you better, not perfect!

Look into the annals of history and you will surely become enlightened that no one has ever been perfect in this world; people have only made the best of the choices what they have got. So, make the most of your life by living naturally and making the right choices. After all, what you choose defines your life.

So Dear Reader, please understand that in this huzzy- buzzy life, all you need is to get the power to make the right choices. Just stop for a moment and think twice before you make your next pick. Trust me; your Life will actually be the “Real Fun Game ever” to play! Cheers!

Friday!

I've started writing from today….and believe me I’m in a real fix. 1^st 10 minutes I was wandering on what to write, and next 20 minutes on what not to write. I actually have so much to tell, while now I realize that i should have started writing earlier. Here you might not always agree or relate to what I say, but I appreciate that you’re reading. J

What’s the day today? Yeah it’s 24^th Jan, Friday.

The Friday of every week has a lot of significance in people’s life in different ways though….it’s some one’s “start of a happy weekend”, where one has plenty of ideas to make it fun-filled with family, friends, relatives or finishing off the ignored household stuff, and for some people it might be just the beginning of those loneliest 48 hours of their life, back again.

Despite such a busy chock-a-block life, where everyone is desperately running hard to reach no-where, where life is just boxes full of tension and stress beautifully presented with multi coloured fresh raps and ribbons, and where we all are well trained to sarcastically smile and enact at each other to be very happily settled, but……at the end we are all afraid of something very scary.  Those Sleepless nights, shivering spines, sinking feelings… doesn’t come naturally to us but we do definitely have felt it sometime. Did you ask yourself why?  Some may know and some may not. It’s just a Survival-to-Lonely Syndrome!!

I know you will be laughing at my derivation. But I bet you to must have had this fear of being completely alone some day in past or in future if not today and it’s a feeling where you could hear your own breath each time you breathed. It happens to everyone at any age. We often felt this at an office party, or at a marriage, or even at home.

What we do to dis-believe this is either we thank the social media sites or we curse our fate. It’s easy and addictive to fix ourselves on FB page or twitter, but again what we do there? LOL! We all know it better! So despite all of these options mind keep staying lonely. We are loners at office, at friends place, at shopping malls, or even at our bedrooms with married strangers.  Yes! We all are at some point of time in our life strangely loners.

But the catch is the question here. Don’t you think it’s all about our mind? What we think is what we do. We all believe we have a great control over our mind but we actually don’t. Or if it’s so, then why it’s not so easy to meditate? A small stress at work makes us tremble to handle it and also we definitely make sure to breakdown on something which is just a bit more than that problem and start seeking for sympathy and shoulders everywhere. And when we don’t find any …… we love that “feeling of depression”, or end with a “small suicide note”.

I say, it’s just the human mind which has been trained to be so weak and wisely the trick of finding a solution lies within us only when we just make our mind strong. “I’ll win it this time! That’s it.” Yes, it’s very easy to say than do. But it’s the only Mantra, Proven and need to be believed.

I’m not just writing, it was also tough for me too but I did. I don’t believe there is anything called as the “Survival Lonely Syndrome” in my life. I’m not alone, and I need no one rather. I’m independent and strong enough to let go and smile at you back.

It’s just a simple practice of not to sympathize with yourself anymore rather tell yourself not to behave as a Looser! The problems we face in life and the way we are left all alone to handle and face them by our families and friends sometimes, is just for learning, a Learning of  lifetime on how to move on with a new horizon, with a new goal. To start a fresh! It’s never too late.

Life has so much to give and so much to do, we sometimes don’t even know. Friends, life partners, kids, family, Facebook are all tools of happiness, but life has plenty of more in the larger sphere. We just need to break the mind wall and walk in. It’s a beautiful world we live in and we are all blessed with a beautiful life. Let’s learn to be happy and smile at past and step to move-on and build our future our way. Its trust and believe in oneself and the power of God. Good fortune is there on the way!

NB: I wrote on the context of RIP Sunanda Pushkar and similar others who let their precious life to a destiny in vague rather than writing it themselves with a new start.